Closure.

2021.10.25 07:19 Throwawaylulu020 Closure.

Dear Jordan. W.
After so long being quiet and respecting your boundary and finally getting the therapy I needed I have some things left unsaid. Thank you for all the gifts and your generosity during our relationship, It was very kind of you and it is still highly appreciated and I still use this laptop to this day.
Unfortunately that's the last pleasent thing I have to say to you.
You are a monster Jordan.
You forced me to bring up all my traumas because you were a supposed safe space. I wasn't ready. I was not ready to open up to anyone about it, I was doing fine, My friendships were doing fine and I wasn't explosive and reactive. I was calm.
But after I met you and you got me to open up, You opened up the floodgates too soon, Without any licensed therapist to help me through how emotionally volatile I would be feeling as buried traumas were suddenly remembered, That was incredibly irresponsible of you! I was having flashbacks all the time, I was constantly in a panicked state because I was having to navigate my previous break up, my family, my work all the while I was facing every god damn trauma ever. And of course I would fight with my family because I felt so fucking angry all the time. No wonder I was angry. And thus I lashed out at everyone and even you, But I take responsibility for that and I am truly sorry for that behaviour.
I was facing so much before I was ready to, And you were right there counting up all my bad behaviour like I was some misbehaving pet.
That's the other thing, You made me feel less than human, At first you put me on a pedestal (Idealizing phase), Then when I fell off that dehumanizing pedestal I became less than nothing to you, So beneath the perfect you and your perfect friends and your perfect life. Yeah you're so much better than me aren't ya, I see you speaking so much disgusting garbage about me on twitter. (Devaluing phase)
You're the worst covert narcissist I ever met and I'm so glad I took a break in august 2020 from you, I'm glad it all happened because now my eyes are open. You abused me so badly, You primed me and my own self esteem so that it would rely on you.
My self esteem used to rely on only me but no you had to pull that phrase of "If you were (insert bad thing here) I wouldn't be here" That's emotionally manipulative and it primed me so that when you would leave my self esteem would plummet lower than ever before. (Discard phase)
I can't say that I hate you because I'm better than that. If anything I pity you. You tried so very hard to paint me as an abuser while you were the one the whole time. You're the only one that cares about how you look publicly, not me, I deleted my twitter in order to heal quietly, I have no social media at all. Public opinion doesn't mean jack shit to me. But you? Oh that gossip you're pulling on twitter? That's you trying to save face, You wanted to be the martyred hero that tried so hard to save l*** but she's evil and took advantage and everyone should hate her right?
Only a narcissist would care about what rando joe public thinks about his private relationship. Much like onision.
Did you know that's how people started to catch on to onision's toxic behaviour? Because he didn't just start being some child groomer, No no, People noticed because he would use his professional social media platform in order to defame his exes.
You're acting the exact same way. I don't believe you're in any therapy yourself because my therapist told me that going on social media to talk about private relationships is extremely unhealthy and toxic.
So you're one to talk about toxic behaviours man, I'm actually doing things right, Just like I did august 2020, I thought i was doing the right thing because I was so mixed up, Caught between 2 abusers and the abusive home I resided.
Get help Jordan, Not just from your pals or your mum or your followers, Real actual help before you tear down another person and leave them a complete wreck.
I ain't taking the damn blame for everything anymore, You let me do that way too easily and now I see why. But no, You are just as much to blame for the destruction of our relationship and believe me it started long before I even moved back to my parents. It started the moment you proclaimed to be safe. You liar.
Take some god damn responsibility for once, I did, I can fully admit to my issues with my temperament and oh the memory issues? Guess what Jordan, it's not gaslighting, It's inattentive ADHD.
Not BPD, Not some cluster b personality flaw like you liked to imply.
Nope, I'm actually neurodivergent.
You are genuinely a terrible person and you can't see it, Or you're afraid to see it. But good luck with your delusion of being a "nice guy"
Because you're nowhere near as nice as you think.
One day I'll be back on social media when I'm good and ready and I will talk about this experience so that others can learn from it.
Try not to groom anyone else and stay away from relationships until you're emotionally mature and get the help you need.
You were grooming and priming me and trying to isolate me. It's funny you claim I'm the abuser, I never tried to isolate you and I encouraged you to see friends, talk to family, make plans. You encouraged me to leave everyone behind and live with you. You wanted me to be financially dependent on you, I dread to think what would have happened if I had let you rent a place for me, I'm very glad my gut instinct kicked in then. I have no idea what would have happened to me right now if I had depended on you for housing. It's a deeply frightening thought.
Or if I had been over there with you already and you decided to discard me while I was in the states with you, I think about that at night sometimes.
Work on your low self esteem also, I always tried to praise you and prop you up, I meant every word about how I felt about your natural voice, Your body, Everything. I loved each and every part of you but you never believed me no matter how much I said so. It was so hard, You never ever believed me, You never trusted me even when things were good, It comes as no surprise that I started to pull away. Every single moment was all about you and what you wanted to watch, play or do. You made me feel bad about sex, You made me feel bad about having wants and needs.
And when things were about me? You'd make me feel bad about them or you'd start claiming I was sad about my traumas and keep poking at me about them until I would react. Half the time I would just be quietly disappointed but you always picked up on it. Now I see you say I would be passive aggressive towards you, But you domineered all my time and energy with everything you wanted to do. You weren't fair, I never had a chance against your negative self view and you never truly let me in no matter how much I tried.
I could never send this to you because truth be told I'm afraid of you, You did everything you said you would never do. You acted in ways you said you never would act. I might be a fuck up but at least I can own the times I behave like an asshole. You shield yourself with this air of "goodness" and "punch up not down" but I see right through it, For the past year you've been punching down.
I'm so disappointed in you, You were not who I thought you were. You never believed me. You were the abuser.
Goodbye.
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Right now my cors works fine and looks like this:
app.use(cors({ credentials: true, origin: "http://localhost:3000" }));
My question is - after deploying, the origin URL will need to change. Can I make it change dynamically or should I just hard code it after deployment?

Thanks!
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Hi there, I am looking for a women in tech or general ticket - I work in the non profit sector so need a reasonable price. Please DM me. Thanks!
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2021.10.25 07:19 airportakal I applied for a job I'm perfectly qualified for, but was not even invited for an interview. I'm disappointed and a bit mad.

Last month I applied for a job that fits my profile perfectly. Admittedly, it's a high-profile organisation, but I have worked there for several years and always had the idea I've left a good impression. The job I applied for was at the same level, and since then I've even done a masters degree at a well-known international university in a rather niche field that matches perfectly with the job.
While I believe there are other suitable (or even better) candidates, I don't think that many people have the same combination of content / knowledge and relevant work experience in the organisation. I did not assume I would get the job, not at all, but I hoped I would at least be invited for the interview round to make a convincing case.
Alas, I was just rejected per automated e-mail. I will call and ask what the reason was, but right now I'm a bit too frustrated. I have been looking for a proper job for two years now. Due to a burnout, I have been out of the running for one year, resulting in a significant gap in my CV. That probably does not help, but I am currently doing relevant - if low-level - work for a university. Other than that, I wouldn't know what is putting employers off.
It's hard to fill a gap in your CV if no employer even wants to talk to you. This is causing serious self-doubt and I need to reflect deeply on what I'm doing wrong here. I feel like the only way to get a job is to already know people or work somewhere. Applying to job openings is a waste of time.
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2021.10.25 07:19 franz_bonaparta_jr DispatchGroup notify has a timeout?

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Thank you
``` import Foundation
func doingStuff() { let group = DispatchGroup()

group.enter() DispatchQueue.global().async { usleep(1000000) print("first finished") group.leave() } group.enter() DispatchQueue.global().async { usleep(2000000) print("second finished") group.leave() } group.notify(queue: .main) { print("done all") } 
}
doingStuff() print("reached here") ```
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2021.10.25 07:19 catch_404 For an edtech app, is there any benefit in showing time spent to the users?

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2021.10.25 07:19 m33ster_robot Webhooks - discord topgg

My webhook isn't working at all, the function isn't called.
``` import topgg
client.topgg_webhook = topgg.WebhookManager(client).dbl_webhook("/dblwebhook", "my bot token") # "my bot token" is "password" in the API example, so i don't know if i need something else here client.topgg_webhook.run(5000)
@client.event async def on_dbl_vote(data): # this doesn't run ```
What am i missing here?
This is the documentation: https://docs.top.gg/libraries/python/
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2021.10.25 07:19 GlitterBows Eli5: What is the junk in our brains that gets cleaned at night?

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2021.10.25 07:19 Worfs-forehead Report back

Hi all,
So a few months ago I posted about a profile review on my apps. Having done all the advised changes and updated my profiles, I still have zero matches or swipes. So what do I do now?
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2021.10.25 07:19 lexisonpc Torturing myself...

Doing loads of research on SD cards, dongles, and controllers.
AND
Knowing it'll be a year before I actually get my Steam Deck, and everything will change in December when we get reviews and people are able to test what peripherals work best.
:(
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2021.10.25 07:19 thermonuclearmuskrat Beep Boop.

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2021.10.25 07:19 Strange-Eye3362 Wrong person 😊

Why do I feel u dont deserve me 😊 check check check !!
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2021.10.25 07:19 MaskedForb13 Is power factor measured in radians or degrees?

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2021.10.25 07:19 Sand_StormZA So about the Flintstones...

The latest episode features incredulity about the pronunciation of "Flintstones" and how the T may be silent. That's called a Glottal Stop. It's the same reason Batman says "I'm Ba'man". You find it in other words too, like wa'er or assor'ment.
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Linguist (6 months of study) out!
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2021.10.25 07:19 AbonoBiotech HOW TO GROW BEANS AT HOME

Bean plants are fast-growing annual crops that can be grown at home. Beans are an excellent plant for new gardeners to try because they are simple to grow, manage, and harvest. It can be cultivated in a variety of settings, including terraces, containers, grow bags, raised beds, and indoor pots.
Soil and Fertilizer:
Beans thrive on slightly acidic to neutral soil with a pH of 6 to 7. Although proper drainage is required, clay or silt loams are better for bean production than sandy soils. To boost soil organic matter, plant with well-rotted manure or compost.
Planting:
Planting common beans too early is the most crucial thing to remember. Plant once all dangers of frost have gone in the spring. Seeds planted too early might rot in cold, moist soil, and plants thrive in warm weather. Select a planting location that receives plenty of sunlight and has organically rich soil with good drainage. Beans can also be grown in containers and raised beds.
Plant the bean seeds 9-12 inches apart, directly into the soil. Dig a 1-inch deep hole, insert the seed in it, and cover it properly with soil. Water the seeds on a regular basis for 3-4 days to help them germinate. To keep your plants growing, water them once every 2-3 days. Do not, however, overwater your plant.
Watering:
Beans planted on more moisture-retentive soils may only require watering during periods of extreme drought, but those produced in sandy soils will need to be watered frequently. Sandy soil will be wet to a depth of ten inches with an inch of water, whereas heavy clay soil will be wet to a depth of six inches with an inch of water.
Pests:
Cutworms gnaw at stems along with the soil level, leaving the sliced tops alone. Bean leaf bugs eat leaves, particularly young and fragile ones. Feeding on seedlings is particularly harmful and can lead to plant death.
By rotating beans around the garden and not planting in the same location more than once every four years, you can practice crop rotation. Peas are susceptible to the same diseases, make sure to include all legumes in your crop rotation.
Growing in Containers:
If you want to plant beans in containers, choose one of the smaller bean kinds and provide a support structure for them to grow on. Make sure the container is at least a foot deep and has plenty of drainage holes. Because it allows excess soil moisture to evaporate through its walls, an unglazed clay container is perfect. For beans, use the right potting mix. It will germinate in about ten days. Spread a light layer of mulch over the soil to help it retain moisture. Fertilize your plants once a month to get the best benefits.
Harvest:
Beans, depending on the variety, are ready to pick 50 to 55 days after sowing. Check the package to be sure your selection will mature in time for your growing season. Harvest each bean by carefully plucking it from the plant or breaking it off at the vine’s end.
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